this is the graduation speech we should have.
I am honored that I have been chosen by the powers that be to address the valedictorian’s speech to you today. It is a task that I have relished, the chance to say farewell to every one of you.
Unfortunately, although I wish I could deliver a stirring speech about how much I have enjoyed my previous four years of high school, I find myself unable to. I have despised secondary education at the Overseas Family School.
Truth be told I have dreamed of tonight as confirmation that this experience is over, that the ride has ended and I can extricate myself from its clutches. I cannot honestly call high school a nightmare, far from it. I consider myself generally content with life and in these halls I have met some of the most engaging and worthy people I will ever meet. To these worthies (you know who you are) thank you, but as for the rest of you…
Perhaps the school believes in the old Roman training belief “Train hard, fight easy”. It certainly would explain the mind numbing levels of bureaucratic bullshit the student body has to put up with and even gives it some sort of purpose. All the pettiness of certain members of staff, all the idiocy and incompetence is purposely put on show to prepare the student body for life in the real world. After four years of constant irritation the paper work of life after high school will be a breeze.
Yet, something tells me that this isn’t the case. Some worrying part of me, a part shared by my assembled fellows today whispers in my ear that all of this…this shit has no purpose, that it really is runaway egos, slavish dedication to arbitrary rules and base human foibles that drives all the continued frustrations of High School.
Rest assured honored faculty, beloved parents, friends, family. I am not using my last speech to my year group to lambast a system I am no longer a part of. I am proud to have known each and every one of you; you have all left your indelible stamps on my personality. To my friends I bid you farewell with the parting words of “Fastidium Trado”. To those members of the faculty who have helped me understand both myself and the world around me I can only hope that you continue to inspire future generations as you have inspired me, the world would be a darker place without your guidance. To my family, and I’m sure this is a sentiment we can all echo here, thanks for putting up with eighteen years of my moodiness, anger, laziness, and general idiocy. I’ll try my damndest to do you proud.
And as for the rest of you, the ones who I’ve considered to have failed in their duty to help raise the leaders of tomorrow, I have two choice phrases for you. The first being “Go fuck yourself” as evidently you lot could use a bit of relaxation and secondly I would like you to remember that “Respect is earned, not given”.
I think that is all I wanted to say. High School has been a trial but we assembled today have succeeded, with the aid of the dedicated and each other. We may face darkness in the tumbling paths of the future, periods of aching pain and disillusionment. But when faced with these moments of despair, remember this moment where we are filled with fire, ready to take on the whole fucking world and keep going on.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen.